Blog Posts Archive

Ggggggggggggggggg note

8/28/22 - #2


I don't have the words nor time to explain what they mean to me. The first MCR song I heard was Mama, sung by my crush when I was 13. At the time, it fucking scared me! I'd never heard lyrics like that before, and I can't say I liked them. The second MCR song I heard, also sung by my middle school crush, was Na Na Na... and this time I was interested. It was just the right amount of 'edgy' to lure me out of my shell and want to know more. I memorized the lyrics so my crush and I could sing them together, and I let them tell me all about the killjoys and the break-up and how hot Gerard was. They were my first crush, the first openly nonbinary person I knew, and the person behind my gay relization.

Gerard Way and My Chemical Romance then cemented this realization in me as I moved into high school and began listening to the music for real. Twice a week my mother would leave for a few hours in the afternoons, and twice a week I would loop youtube playlists in the background while playing hunger games simulators in minecraft. My Chemical Romance, Panic at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, and I can't remember what else. It was MCR that stuck with me.

When I changed my name, I changed one of my legal names to "Gerard".

Gerard was who inspired me to come out as trans in the first place.

I don't even know where to begin with the importance of the killjoys to me.

Fuck, is my life inconsistant. I am inconsistant. But this band has been with me since 2013, and they are the one consistancy I have. Back in 2013 I said to my crush, "When they get back together, I'll go see them". I'm not sure why I thought that, when at that age I had never even been to a concert before, but something about this band inspired me. Now, nearly 10 years later, I finally get to do it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I don't have the words.

By the way, some site updates since my last blog post:

  • an altar dedicated to my patron saint Judas, within the semi-hidden Mausoleum
  • an archive page for my blog posts
  • a page for dog photos!! One of the albums is still unfinished, but it's a good start
  • many new poems!!!
  • I've begun adding alt text to my images and graphics
  • I've discovered how to add music to pages. So far, Judas' altar is the only page with music, but of course I have plans to add more!
  • lastly, lots of tiny fixes and tweaks!!!!

See you soon -- and remember to stay true and strong!! -Val

Hello World!

6/23/22 - #1

Edits made on 7/4/22

Two days ago marked the soft-opening of (this site)! I'm looking forward to adding on to this site - a little more every day! I already have some rough plans such as:

  • A page for my art
  • Music
  • More graphics + alt text for the existing graphics - Edit: alt text is now in progress!
  • Photos of my favorite dogs
  • A page for my pet hermit crabs!
  • Something about my local goth scene (did you know there's a vampire burried near me...)
  • An archive for these blog posts so they don't all clutter up my home page LOL

I've also started the "Mausoleum" side of my website (If you haven't found it yet, scroll around on this page... I've even added a hint somewhere to make the puzzle easy XD). It may be unsurprising for you to know I love the occult! So in the Mausoleum I will be making pages on:

  • Divination/tarot
  • Incense
  • Sigils

And a handful of digital altars to:

  • Saint Judas Iscariot - Edit: Now Here!
  • Saint Joan of Arc
  • Asmoday (the site's namesake!)
  • Baphomet
  • Maybe a few more!

But anyway, that's all my plans for now! Progress will be slow but I've been having more fun here than I've had on social media in ages, so I expect to stick around. Thank you for viewing my site, and see u later! -Val